These books, recommended by relationship pros, will help you improve your partnership in the short and long term. No matter how well you get along, how much you have in common, how often you put time and care into your connection—all relationships go through ebbs and flows. And while you might not need therapy, adding new tools to your repertoire can strengthen your bond and bring you closer. One easy way to invest in your couple hood is to read the same advice book and then talk about it. We asked relationship therapists, experts, and gurus, to recommend their top read to create healthier, happier duos in 2022. Stamped From the Beginning by Ibram X. Kendi “Change begins at home, and this book offers a solid foundation for couples that want to create a home culture that values inclusion, challenges biases, and is committed to antiracism. If racism is going to be uprooted, it is essential to know where it started from; this book reveals the stories at racism’s roots. As you read, I encourage you to share your thoughts and reactions; talk about what stood out to you, how reading it made you feel, and the things you are left thinking about. Lean into any discomfort you may experience and hold each other accountable for your actions. We all have the power to decide which values are important to us, and this book helps equip couples that want to be intentional about their family passing on honest stories about people and history.” —Michelle Felder, LCSW, MA, the founder and CEO of Parenting Pathfinders. The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, Ph.D. “This book is based on longitudinal research done by the primary author who studied many couples for many years to determine what factors were responsible for creating happier and healthier long-term relationships. His work is highly respected and groundbreaking. Dr. Gottman found ways to help couples show more appreciation and respect for one another and change their negative behaviors in how they interacted with each other. Ultimately, he discovered that a key reason couples were happy in long-term relationships was that they had a solid friendship together. This book incorporates much of these findings from Dr. Gottman, along with exercises and questionnaires for couples to work on to better understand themselves and their relationship and ways to improve it together.” —Dr. Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based psychologist. Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel “This book offers a unique and refreshing perspective on intimacy, love, lust, and fueling the connection that romantic partners share. Perel focuses on supporting the longevity of relationships. Perel explores the nuances and complexities of sex and intimacy and brings to light what couples can do to live and love passionately. Her real-life examples make this book relatable, while her expertise provides readers with invaluable knowledge and insight. I encourage couples to enjoy this book together or read it separately, but talk about it afterward; share what resonated with you, what surprised you, or what parts of your relationship you were reminded of. This book can help couples begin an honest conversation about intimacy, desires, and their hopes for the life they’ll live together.” —Michelle Felder, LCSW, MA, the founder and CEO of Parenting Pathfinders. Selfish Path to Romance: How to Love with Passion & Reason by Dr. Ellen Kenner and Dr. Edwin Locke “This is the best book I’ve found that covers in-depth how to successfully navigate a romantic relationship from finding a partner that is a good match to nurturing the relationship, to even how to break up if the relationship isn’t working. It is also unique in addressing the moral aspect of a relationship. The word ‘selfish’ in the title means self-valuing and self-respecting, which the authors explain is critical for a happy and healthy relationship. Unlike usual convention, they explain why sacrifice is destructive to a relationship, and instead, each partner must learn how to compromise, so they both are happy and fulfilled effectively. I highly recommend this book to my relationship clients because the deep underlying problems in most relationships stem from sacrifice and build-up of resentment. The authors explain how to prevent this and maintain benevolence and intimacy in a long-term romantic relationship.” —Steve Orma, PsyD, a clinical psychologist. The Couples Guide To Thriving With ADHD by Melissa Orlov and Nancie Kohlenberger LMFT “People I am sure have married and divorced not understanding what went wrong. Dealing with ADHD is pretty common in relationships, but most people don't even realize this and its impact on their partner or relationship. Maybe you have a sloppy partner or a partner who never finishes projects you ask. Don't get mad. Think of ways to help and different strategies beyond realizing their issues. Lots of built-up anger can impact relationships, and it helps you get past the anger and see this from another lens so that you can communicate effectively and feel happier in your day-to-day relationship.” —Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and the CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. Find out where to book the best indoor wedding venues near me
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AuthorThe Texas Hall Archives
March 2022
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